Common Mistakes Men Make In Bed - Women’s view
Settling For Mediocrity/Not Making An Effort:
- “Is your relationship
in neutral? Many men have the impression that as long as they are not
yelling at their wives, beating them, cheating on them, or leaving huge
messes around the house, they must be good husbands. All that means is
that they aren’t bad husbands. They are probably just average husbands.
Instead of not just yelling at their wives, husbands should make an effort
to say lots of wonderful things to their wives. Instead of not just
beating his wife, a husband should make certain he often lovingly touches
her: stroking her hair, lightly kissing her neck, gently massaging her
shoulders, kindly rubbing her feet, and giving her light kisses on her cheek,
nose, ears, forehead, and of course, lips. A man should only not cheat on
his wife, he should passionately seduce her. Not being a total slob isn’t
bad, but helping your wife with the chores is even better. Giving her a
whole day or week off from her usual chores and you doing them for her is
best. Men should never settle for being average. If your relationship has
been in neutral, it’s time for you to move into first gear.”
- If you find that you
have fallen into the mediocrity trap, then you probably shouldn’t be too
surprised that your sex life has suffered as a result. Here are some ways
to avoid mediocrity and rise to the top.
- One great way to avoid
mediocrity and keep sex spicy hot is to learn how to make love outside of
the bedroom. No, I’m not talking about making love on the kitchen counter
or dining room table. I’m talking about making love with your woman in a
non-sexual way. If she regularly prepares supper, do you ever ask her if
she needs help? If she is the one that normally does the dishes, do you
regularly do them instead? Do you help her around the house? Do you touch
her in non-sexual ways? Do you ever kiss her outside the bedroom? I
promise you, the better you learn to make love to her outside of the
bedroom, the better she will make love with you inside the bedroom. If she
is resentful for the things you do (or don’t do) outside the bedroom, how
can she give herself to you fully and excitedly in the bedroom? Something
to think about, don’t you think?
- Do you ever touch her
outside the bedroom? One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to only
touch you lady when you want sex. She will pick up on this and likely
start to resent you for it. Instead, be sure to touch her often in a
non-sexual way. For instance, while she is cooking or brushing her teeth
in the mirror, go up behind her and give her a big hug. Or, if she is
working on the computer or reading a book, go up behind her and give her a
small kiss on the neck or a back rub. Pay attention. There are many
opportunities throughout your day together to do this for her. She will
feel appreciated and she will love you for it.
Do you ever kiss her - REALLY kiss her?
- I say anything
under 10 seconds doesn't even qualify as a kiss. Sure, there will be times
when you have to dash off to the store before it closes and a peck will
have to do, but try to make those times the exception rather than the
rule.
Do you spend time together?
- Make a conscious effort
to make quality time for your partner every day - even if it’s ten minutes
of snuggling before going to sleep. Most women need to make a connection
everyday. Take a walk together after dinner. Have a laugh at the
supermarket. Clean or wash the car together. Have fun doing whatever you
do together. Take a class. Join a club. Support a candidate. Plan a
getaway. Tickle. Be Goofy. Just make sure you spend quality time with your
lady - everyday. She will love you for it.
- Create rituals that
involve sharing time. No matter how busy you are, make the time. Have one
night a week set aside to watch videos in bed. Go for a special brunch
every Sunday. Read the Sunday paper together in bed. Make her breakfast
every Saturday morning. You get the idea. Rituals are an important part of
a relationship. They provide fun, anticipation, security, and mostly
intimacy.
Do you talk to her?
- Do you listen to her -
REALLY listen? Ask her about her day and then listen to her. Don't try to
solve all of her problems. Just sympathize with her, tell her you love
her, and let her know that you are her biggest fan.
Do you compliment her?
- Do you build her up and
brag on her in front of others?
- Do you help her out
with chores, the kids, and housework? Does she feel overburdened?
- When is the last time
you called her just to say, "I love you"?
- When is the last time
the two of you went somewhere romantic?
- Take her away for the
weekend. Don't expect sex. Don't ask for it. Just work on rediscovering
what it was about each other that made you fall in love in the first
place. The sex will likely follow.
Not Shaving:
- If you have a rough
beard, moustache, or goatee, it can really hurt your lady when you kiss
her, suck her breasts, or give her oral sex. You can test the roughness of
your facial hair by rubbing the inside of your wrist or the back of your
hand against your moustache, beard, or goatee. If it’s rough against the
back of your hand, just think about how it must feel to her soft, delicate
tissue. A close shave or using hair conditioner on your beard should take
care of this problem.
Poor Personal Hygiene:
- Some ladies have
complained that a few guys need more help with their personal hygiene.
Make sure you brush your teeth, use deodorant, and cut your toenails, they
say. Some ladies really like nice cologne, too. While our natural body
scent contains pheromones, nobody wants to be with someone that lets their
natural scent get out of control.
Bragging About How Good He Is In Bed:
- “Another big mistake
for a guy to do is brag about how good he is in bed. I had a guy do that
to me one evening. I asked him how good he was at masturbation. He said he
was great at masturbation. I told him I was glad to hear that, because
that’s what he would be doing tonight. Then I got up and left.” If you are
good in bed, guys, she will find out soon enough. Bragging about it is not
only unnecessary, it can turn her off. Being confident is great. Being
braggadocios is not.
- Not Giving Clear Insight Into Their Sexual Desires And Needs: Often times, men aren’t
the best communicators inside the bedroom - or outside of the bedroom, for
that matter. Many women would like to know about our sexual needs and
desires. Learn to open up and communicate better and you may take your
lovemaking to a whole new level.
No (Or Not Enough) Kissing and Foreplay Before The Main Event:
- One lady commented, “Is
this a race? An 8 second rodeo? Slow down, Cowboys!” Another complained,
“He thinks foreplay is each of us taking our clothes off and lying down.”
Foreplay isn’t optional. It isn’t a luxury to indulge in only when you
have enough time - especially when you plan to engage in intercourse. The
woman needs time for her vagina to prepare itself for penetration. Give
her the time to prepare, and she will enjoy the experience on a higher
level - and so will you. Instead of diving right for her crotch, spend
some time kissing her, touching her, and talking to her.
- This will help build
anticipation and desire. Besides, studies have shown that after 21 minutes
or longer of foreplay, 92.3% of women will orgasm at some point during
your lovemaking session. Not enough foreplay makes it seem like you don’t
care about pleasing her and only care about your own pleasure. If your
lady knows that you will take great care of her during your lovemaking,
she is more likely to want to engage in it more often. That makes sense,
doesn’t it?
Too Much Tongue:
- “Don’t force it. I like
tongue, but not down my throat.” I’ve read this complaint from a lot of
different sources. It seems that it’s a pretty common one. Don’t force
your tongue down her throat like you are trying to unclog a drainpipe.
That’s just not romantic. Try being soft, slow, and gentle. Try holding
her face in your hands while you kiss her. Try stroking her hair or her
cheek.
- While a lot of women
really like to have their necks gently suckled, no woman wants to have to
wear turtle neck sweaters for a few weeks to hide a hickey that you gave
her. If you are going to give hickeys, do so on the areas where clothing
will definitely cover them up, and with her permission only.
Ignoring The Other Parts Of Her Body:
- A woman has more parts
to her body than just her two breasts and her vagina. There are many other
areas of her body. Some have been touched less than a leprous nun in
solitary confinement due to the fact that a lot of men just go right for
the breasts and the vagina and forget about everything else. Spend some
time touching her and getting to know her body without touching her
breasts or vagina for awhile. She will appreciate the attention and will
know that you are a man who truly knows how to please a woman.
Keep Your Hands Moving
- “Touch me. Don't rest
your hands as if you are tired or something. Move them over my skin all
the time.” Ladies don’t want you to appear bored. Keep your hands moving.
Stimulate her in as many ways as possible. If your hands need a rest, then
try holding her hands with yours. Many women really like it when you hold
their hand during lovemaking, as it can help you connect better with her.
Zigzag Technique:
- As surprising as it may
seem at first, a woman's skin is her largest sex organ. As a result,
anywhere that she has skin can become an erogenous zone, depending on how
you touch her.
- Take your fingertips in
a zigzag motion and run them all over her body. The reason that a zigzag
motion works better than a straight line is because with the straight
line, the little nerves of her skin in the path of your straight line
"know" they are going to be touched. With a zigzag motion, the
little nerves "hope" they will be touched. This produces a
different, more pleasant effect. Try it on your own arm and feel the
difference.
Massaging Her Too Roughly:
- Women oftentimes think
that a man’s touch is too rough. You have the right idea if you are giving
her a massage as a part of foreplay, but you can ruin an all-good thing by
being too rough with her. Be gentle unless you have her permission to be
rougher.
Undressing To Early:
- Undressing too early is
not the best move. This can signal your lady that you expect sex. Even if
you do think the evening will turn sexual, it may be best to wait until
things get a little hot and heavy and she starts to peel your shirt or
pants off, first.
Taking Your Pants Off First:
- I have read from many
different sources that women believe a man in only his socks and underwear
is a man at his worst. Be sure to take your socks off before your pants so
your lady never has to see you in a less than flattering light.
Nudging Her Head Down For Oral Sex:
- Not a good plan. If you
want oral sex from her, it’s best to ask her. Don’t nudge her head toward
your penis. Many women said they don’t like this.
Using Your Hand To Move Her Head Up And Down While She Gives You Oral Sex:
- This was by far the
most common response that I received from my surveys. Apparently, women HATE this. You can rub your fingers through her
hair, stroke her cheek, or rub her back, but NEVER, EVER force her head onto your penis with your
hand.
Thrusting While She Gives You Oral Sex:
- Many women don’t like
it when you thrust while they are giving you oral sex. They said they
prefer you lie still while they move their head up and down. They can
better control the depth and speed that way. Some women may not mind it,
though. Your best bet is to ask your lady and see what she says.
Not Warning Her When You Are About To Cum While She Gives You Oral Sex:
- This was another very
popular response from the women who took my survey. Not every woman likes
the taste of semen. Be sure to warn her when you are about to orgasm so
she can choose what she would like to do with it. Many women commented
that if a man doesn’t warn her first, he would never get more oral sex
from her again.
No Kissing After Oral Sex:
- “It really bugs me that
he won’t kiss me after I give him a blow job.” That’s a great way to make
sure you never get oral sex again, guys. If she is going to be so kind and
loving to give you oral sex, the least you can do is not make her feel
like a leper afterwards. Give her a big kiss and let her know how much you
love her and appreciate the pleasure that she gives you.
Not Offering To Return Sexual Favours:
- This was another pretty
common survey response. It seems that some men expect to receive oral sex
from their women, but don’t want to return the favour. Another interesting
note is that I remember most of these guys as being past partners - not
current ones. Hmmmm…I wonder why!?
Poor Manual Dexterity:
- Fumbling when trying to
remove her bra or panties just doesn’t cut it.
Unfastening a Bra Tip:
- I have to get something
off my chest and keep you abreast of the situation. If you are like a lot
of guys when it comes to bras, and you are more likely to bust a finger
than finger a bust when it comes to removing one of these booby traps,
then this tip is for you. First, some basic bra knowledge. Most bras
fasten in the back, although some fasten in the front, between the cups.
Next, know what you are dealing with. Borrow one of your lady’s bras and
examine the mechanics of the fasteners. Practice fastening it and
unfastening it. Wait until you are alone and sit down on the edge of your
bed or in a chair with your thighs exposed. Now, wrap the bra around your
thigh or thighs and fasten it with the hooks facing up. Now practice
fastening and unfastening it again. When you get the hang of it, turn it
on your leg so the hooks are face down and you have to do it without being
able to see what you are doing. Now, you are ready for the next time you
see your lady and it comes time to remove her bra. Be sure to use two
hands. Don’t try to impress her with any one-hand tricks, unless you are
very well practiced. Wrap you arms around her in a hug-like fashion. Grab
each side of the bra clasps, one side with each hand. Fold the two sides
together, pushing on one side and pulling on the other. It should come
right open. Now remove the bra. Your lady will be far more impressed with
a smooth removal than if you try to yank it off or whip it away.
- As for her panties,
John Gray does an incredible job of describing how to best remove a
woman’s panties in his book, ‘Mars and Venus in the Bedroom’:
- “A man should begin to
touch between her legs only when he thinks she is ready. Sometimes it is
good to first touch around the lining of the panties and gradually
explores her vulva. It is very exciting for her if he doesn't just
suddenly pull down her panties. Instead, he may start to pull them down
and then pull them back up a little higher. Instead of taking them off, he
can begin touching her on the inside edge of her panties across the back,
then the front, then along the edge down the front. Then he can put his
fingers inside the edge between her legs. Once he has checked with a
gentle, probing finger that she is moist, he can take off her panties. Or,
instead of immediately pulling them off, he can once again delay pulling
them down to convey the message that he is in control of his passions.
- Even if his passion is
mounting, he can take a long time. This restraint and control allow her to
feel freer to release her inhibitions and let go of control. Instead of
taking off her panties, he can reach around her buttocks and expose her bare
bottom. He can begin to touch and stroke her buttocks and her inner thigh
from behind. Eventually, he can take off her panties and begin stroking
her inner thighs and circling her whole vulva.” -Mars and Venus in the
Bedroom
Squeezing Her Breasts:
- Most men squeeze a
woman’s breasts like they squeeze the Charmin. A lot of women get tired of
that. Stroke her breasts. Kiss them. Lick them. Caress them. Don’t just
squeeze them really hard. Spend some time with her breasts. The average
guy spends only 2-3 minutes per breast during a whole sexual encounter!
Don’t you think your partner deserves more? Do you want to be like every
other guy or do you want to stand out from the mediocre masses?
- Some women aren’t
interested in breast stimulation at all. While over 90% of women report
that their partners stimulate their breasts either manually or orally
during sexual activity, only 50% reported that they actually enjoy breast
stimulation. The rest tolerate it because either their partner likes it or
because their partner doesn’t realize that the women don’t enjoy it. Why
not ask your lady what she prefers.
Biting And Twiddling Her Nipples:
- Don’t clamp down on her
nipples like you are going to bite them off. Nipples are sensitive. There
will be some women who will really like that, but the majority of women
will prefer you to be a little more gentle with their nipples. Again, your
best bet is to ask. Also, stop rolling her nipples between your thumb and
forefinger all the time, like you are trying to turn a radio dial to tune
in a faint radio station. A little bit of that may be ok sometimes, but go
for variety.
- The more techniques you
have in your repertoire, the better. And be sure to focus in on the entire
breasts, not just the nipples. Besides, some experts claim that the nipple
isn’t the most sensitive part of the breast, anyway. They suggest that the
upper part of the breast from the 9:00 to the 3:00 position may be even
more sensitive. See if this holds true for your lady. Also, don’t forget
about the sides of the breast and the undersides.
Begging!
- “He wanted me to do
things I was NOT comfortable with, and after telling him a firm NO, he
would start begging!” Guys, it’s ok to ask your lady to do something that
may be a little kinky or out of the ordinary, but don’t keep begging her
if she says no. Nagging her about it will only make matters worse.
Besides, are you in this just for your own selfish pleasure, or is this
supposed to be a physical expression of the love that you share with her?
That’s something to think about. If you really love her, quit trying to
make her do things she isn’t comfortable doing.
- “Start slow. Turn me on
before you jump me. As a matter of fact, make me BEG you before you jump
me.” This is a big one that a lot of guys need to learn. When it comes to
driving a car, most guys like to take the quickest, most direct route to
their destination. That’s great, but when it comes to lovemaking, taking
the most direct route to your destination (orgasm) is the quickest route
to sexual dissatisfaction for your lady - and her dissatisfaction leads to
less frequent sex for you! After all, why would she want to have sex with
you very often if she already knows it will be unfulfilling for her?
Instead of taking the quickest, most direct route to orgasm, learn to take
the scenic route. That’s the route that will have your woman wanting to
travel your sexual highway a lot more often. Spend a lot of time on
foreplay. Spend time kissing her, touching her, and telling her why you
love her. This is the fuel your woman needs in order to get the most out
of your lovemaking.
- The more foreplay you
give her, the more turned on she will be and the more explosive her
orgasms will be. My advice, and the advice of the lady who gave me the
quote above, would be to get her so turned on that she begs you to make
love with her. Then you know she is really ready for you and will enjoy
the experience to the fullest. It’s up to you. You can race to a mediocre
orgasm and have her rarely looking forward to sex with you, or you can
take your time working up to an incredible orgasm and have her wanting you
to work your expertise all the time.
ATTACKING THE CLITORIS.
- For many women, direct
stimulation of the clitoris can be uncomfortable and even painful,
especially early in the lovemaking. Some women may need you to wait until
they are really aroused before they’ll find direct clitoral stimulation
pleasurable.
- Some women can’t stand
direct clitoral stimulation at all - even after arousal. They may need
indirect stimulation. Your best bet is to ask your lady what she needs
when it comes to stimulating her clitoris.
Not realizing That Many Women Need Clitoral Stimulation To Orgasm:
- Many women cannot
orgasm through vaginal penetration alone. If your lady is among these,
it’s perfectly normal. In fact, only around 30% of women can orgasm from
intercourse alone. The rest need clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm.
Here are some ways to incorporate clitoral stimulation into intercourse:
- She can manually
stimulate her clitoris during intercourse.
- You can manually
stimulate her clitoris during intercourse.
- Get either a vibrating
egg or a vibrating bullet. You can purchase these at your local adult toy
store or you can order them online. Now, turn on the bullet (or egg). Start
with low speed, if you have a multi-speed model, and place it right
against her clitoris. Now, enter her vaginally with your penis (use
missionary position). Your body will hold the bullet (or egg) in place on
her clitoris while you stroke in and out of her vagina. This way, she can
receive the clitoral stimulation that she may need in order to orgasm
during intercourse.
- Read up on the Coital
Alignment Technique (CAT). It places your body in a more advantageous
position for clitoral stimulation.
- Insert your penis into
her vagina as far as it will go. Don't move it in and out. Just grind your
pelvis right up against her clitoris and keep grinding. You may need to
lubricate her, first, as you want to pleasure her clitoris, not irritate
it.
- If you have ever
watched a porno, you will see that most of the time, the two people
involved only have physical contact at one point of the bodies - the
genitals. Try some better coverage than that. Cover her like Deion Sanders
covers a wide receiver. Put your body flat against hers, touching at as
many points as possible without hurting her. A lot of women will really
love the extra coverage and I promise you won’t get penalized for holding!
It may also allow for better contact with the clitoris.
- Using a long, narrow, silky
scarf, place it’s midpoint behind your penis and testicles. Bring the ends
around to the front, just above the base of your penis and tie them
together firmly, but not painfully, in a large knot. The larger the knot,
the better. You may even want to tie several knots to maximize the size of
your knotted area. Be sure to leave the free ends at least a foot long.
During missionary-position intercourse, your lady can grab the free ends
of the scarf with her hands and pull back and forth on them to stimulate
her clitoris with the knot.
- When you are on top in
the missionary position, instead of having your legs inside of hers, try
putting them outside of hers. With her legs together, she will get more
stimulation than normal and you are more likely to make contact with her
clitoris as you thrust. You can still thrust the usual way, but a circular
motion like you are stirring a drink with your penis really works well.
- Another way to help
provide clitoral stimulation during intercourse is to gently hold her butt
cheeks apart during intercourse.
- Use the “Clockwise,
Counter Clockwise Technique” during intercourse. Insert your penis fully
into her vagina. Now grind lustfully against each other. You grind in a
clockwise motion while she grinds in a counter clockwise motion. This
allows for terrific clitoral stimulation.
Not Listening or Paying Attention To Her Needs:
- If she tells you to
ease up a bit, or move a little to the left, or says something else to
help give you direction and you don’t listen, then you not only aren’t
going to give her the most pleasure possible, you also may frustrate her.
Listen to her directions and follow them.
Being Inconsiderate:
- “He keeps lying his
shoulders down on my face so I can’t breathe. I told him a few times that
I’m suffocating, but he doesn’t seem to get the message.” Again, guys, I’m
going to have to ask you - are you in this for your own selfish pleasure
or do you really love the lady you are with? You have to listen up. Pay
attention to your lady and her signals, both verbal and non-verbal. Don’t
zone out and only focus on your own pleasure. If you want to only focus on
yourself, then get off of your lady and read up on some great masturbation
techniques.
Inattention:
- “He’s kind of clumsy
and sometimes hurts me. When I groan with pain, he mistakes it for a groan
of pleasure. The only time he ever noticed was when I screamed and almost
jumped off the bed.” Reading this one, I can’t help but think this is the
fault of both parties involved. I believe if the lady is uncomfortable,
she has a responsibility to tell the guy in no uncertain terms that she is
uncomfortable. Groans of pain can be mistaken for groans of pleasure. On
the other hand, guys, you should be so tuned into your lady that you
should know what she is feeling. You should also be talking to her. “Are
you doing ok?”; “Are you comfortable?”; “Do you need anything?”; “How does
that feel?”; “Are you enjoying yourself?”
Taking Direction Too Personally:
- Several women mentioned
that sometimes when they give us direction in the bedroom, such as asking
us to ease up a bit, we take it too personally and get our feelings hurt
as if we weren’t doing a good job. “If I told him I didn’t care for
something he was doing to me in the bedroom, he’d start to whine and get
his feelings hurt.” Don’t take direction personally, guys. Pay attention
to it so you can learn how to better please your woman. Consider yourself
lucky that you have a woman who will give direction. Would you rather have
your woman say nothing, but secretly be uncomfortable with what you are
doing to her?
Too Mechanical:
- “You can sometimes tell
when a guy has studied something to try to please a girl and he seems all
mechanical and stuff, trying to remember everything step by step. Not
cool! Go with the flow!” Learning new things to try in the bedroom can be
extremely fun. Many ladies love that their men are always trying to keep
things fresh by learning new things to try out. I have a word of caution
for you, though. Women like the lovemaking to flow naturally. So, having a
dry erase board next to the bed with step by step instructions for that
new move you just read about is a horrible idea.
- Your woman wants you
focusing on her, not on trying to remember some silly move. Don’t get me
wrong, new ideas are great. I completely enjoy learning new things to try
out in the bedroom. I'm just suggesting you do your homework and learn the
technique outside of the bedroom so that when it comes time to try it out
on your lady, you can do so while completely focusing on her and not on
trying to remember the technique.
Being Distracted During Lovemaking:
- One lady commented,
“Keeping the television on is very distracting. If it must be on, please
switch it to a music channel.” Another complained, “Never say lets hurry
up and get this over with, the game is about to come on.” Your lady must
feel that there is nowhere else on Earth you would rather be and nothing
else you would rather be doing right now than making love with her.
Signature Moves:
- “The biggest mistake my
past lovers have made is to assume that what worked on a previous lover
(or lovers) to help them achieve an orgasm is what must work for me, too,
even after I have tried to get through to them what DOES work for me. I
believe it is my responsibility to let them know what does work for me,
but it obviously doesn't do any good if they are still going to insist on
doing things the way they "know" is best.” Many guys have a
signature move that they are really fond of.
- Because they have had
success with the move in the past, sometimes they may be guilty of
focussing too much on it with a new girlfriend. No move works on every
woman. Everyone is different, remember? Go ahead and try out those moves
that have worked well for you in the past, or that great move your buddy
said drove his girlfriend crazy. Just be sure to pay attention to what
your girl’s moans and wiggles tell you about it. If she lies there like a
bump on a log, grabs your hand to stop you, or pulls back from your touch,
then try variations - harder, softer, faster, slower, etc.
- If you find a variation
that works for her, remember it - then you’ll already have a head start
for next time. If you still get no response after the variations, move on
to something else. I have heard women complain that some men are bound and
determined to make their “signature move” work at all costs like they have
a one track mind. Such behaviour can be frustrating and ruin the mood.
MENTIONING PAST LOVERS.
- “The dumbest thing any
man can do is talk about past lovers while out on a date, let alone in
bed.” The last thing your lady wants to hear about is all of your past
lovers. If you want her to feel special, you need to focus on her and not
on your past lovers. Make her feel like she is the only woman in the world
when she is with you.
Thrusting Too Hard Or Too Fast:
- According to many
ladies, when it comes to intercourse, one of the worst things you can do
is thrust away right from the start like a rabbit in heat. Take your time.
Start slow. Build up to faster thrusts, if that’s what the two of you
like. Another one of the worst things you can do when it comes to
intercourse is to thrust too hard, like a runaway jackhammer, right from
the start.
- Remember that as you
thrust, your hipbone can dig into her stomach or thigh. The harder you
thrust, the more painful this can be for her. Sometimes your lady may
request harder thrusts. If so, then by all means, give her what she wants.
Just be sure she is ready, willing, and able to accept your hard thrusting
before you attempt it. If your lady asks for it hard and nasty, here is a
terrific tip to help you give her hard, deep thrusting:
Headboard Leverage Technique:
- Sometimes, your lady
might want good, hard, deep, vigorous thrusting penetration. Here's a
technique to help you do this a little easier. Lie down on the bed in the
missionary position, but turn 180 degrees so your feet are facing the head
of the bed. Scoot down to where your feet are right up against the
headboard. Using the headboard with your feet will give you the extra
leverage you need for some forceful thrusting from the missionary
position. Be sure to keep your lady relaxed. Don't let her get into a
tensed body mode.
- Be careful not to put
too much of your weight on her. Men are generally larger than women are
and this can be painful for her. If she is spending too much time and
energy thinking about being able to breathe, she isn’t concentrating on
her pleasure - or yours.
Barking Directions:
- Unless you are
role-playing, don’t bark out instructions like a drill sergeant. Speak to
her in a soft, gentle, loving voice or your little soldier’s sex life may
be missing in action for a few days.
Talking Dirty:
- Many women like it when
you talk dirty to each other in bed. Others don’t. Don’t make the mistake of
doing so without knowing if your lady likes it, first. Your best bet is to
ask her.
- During your sexual
activity, don’t spank your lady without her permission. There will be a
lot of women that will really enjoy that. There are a lot of others that
really won’t. Don’t do it to your lady until you find out what she thinks
about the idea. You could catch her completely off guard and upset her.
She might even smack you back - and not in a good way!
Attempting Anal Sex And Pretending It Was An Accident:
- If you have trouble
finding the right hole, one lady suggested purchasing a GPS system or
taping a map to your headboard. If you want to try anal sex, you have to
ask her first. Attempting this without asking first and then pretending it
was an accident is not acceptable. If you are truly unsure of what you are
doing, then brush up on basic female anatomy before you do anything else.
Stopping For A Break In The Middle Of The Action:
- During oral sex, if you
can tell that she’s getting close to orgasm, don’t stop for anything - not
even if your tongue feels like it will fall off. If you do stop, even for
a minute, you will likely have to start all over again. Most women can’t
pick up where they left off. Here are three tips for you. The first is for
when your tongue becomes tired in the middle of the action. The second two
are tongue strengthening exercises to build more tongue stamina.
Tired Tongue Tip:
- If your tongue gets
tired while pleasuring her, just curl it up against the outside of your upper
lip. Now, you can still pleasure her with the exposed backside of your
tongue while your tongue rests and still not break the sensation of
softness and heat that she is enjoying. By the time you need to do this,
there should be enough lubrication from her to avoid any dryness.
Tung-Fu Technique:
- This is an ancient
Chinese Taoist secret exercise to strengthen the tongue for oral sex. Hang
an orange on a string. Use martial arts on it with your tongue. Jab it.
Move it from side to side. Lift it up. After a few weeks, graduate to a
grapefruit.
Lifesaver Tongue Stamina Tip:
- This is a great
exercise to gain tongue endurance for oral sex. Hold a Lifesaver at the
front of your mouth in the upright position, either between your lips and
gum or just inside your teeth. Now, using tiny tongue motions, dissolve
the lifesaver from the inside out. Like great oral sex, this takes time,
patience, and a strong, nimble tongue.
Not Caring Whether Or Not She Cums:
- This is the best way to
ensure she’ll never make love with you, again. Guys that cum and then roll
over and go to sleep without finishing off their ladies will forever
wonder why they can’t keep a good lady.
CUMMING TOO SOON.
- If you are prone to
premature ejaculations, then be sure to have a back up plan in mind to
finish your lady off. It is not ok to have an orgasm yourself and then
give up on the lovemaking. You should finish what you start.
Not Cumming Soon Enough:
- Many men may think that
thrusting away for an hour without Cumming is the mark of a sex god and is
every woman’s dream for their man. Well, most women aren’t looking for a
marathon man of such proportions. Most women get raw and numb after awhile
and are ready for it to end. So, don’t cum too early, but don’t take too
long, either.
Asking Us If We've Cun Yet!
- “When a guy asks
whether I’ve come yet, it kills any momentum I might have had. I hate
that.” Guys, it’s great that you are concerned with your ladies pleasure,
but if you ask her about her orgasm in the middle of the act, it can not
only be an added pressure for your lady, it can also take her even further
away from orgasm. Afterwards, if you ask her and she did cum, you might
feel foolish for not recognizing the fact that she did. If you ask and she
didn’t cum, you might feel foolish that you didn’t give her an orgasm.
Either way, it’s probably not a good idea to ask. Some women said they
wouldn’t mind, though, as long as they were asked afterwards. Ask your
lady about her thoughts on the situation.
Asking Me If It Was Good:
- “It’s always good, but
if the guy asks me, then my impression of him drops a few points because
if he was really paying attention, he would have known it was good.”
Condom Disposal:
- Condom disposal is the
man’s responsibility. Don’t leave it behind for her to clean up. Not only
is this thoughtless, it also may make her wonder if you’ll expect her to
clean up after you all the time in other areas of your life.
Not Snuggling After Sex:
- Most women really like
to snuggle after making love. This is a terrific time to make the
emotional connection that most women (and a lot of men, too) need. A good
rule of thumb that I really like is to always let your lady fall asleep
first. This serves several purposes:
- She can never accuse
you of rolling over and falling asleep right after sex.
- It prevents you from
keeping her awake with your snoring.
- You may find it really
relaxing and reflective to just hold your lady for awhile as she sleeps.
Look at her, think about what she means to you, and think about how much
you love her.
Rushing To The Shower Immediately After Sex:
- “Right after sex, he
rushes to the shower. That makes me feel like I’m dirty.” Guys, many women
have said that they feel dirty when you get up immediately after a
lovemaking session and head right for the shower. Try not taking a shower
immediately afterwards. A lot of people even sleep that way until morning.
If you must run for the shower, make sure she doesn’t think you are
running away from her. Give her a big kiss and tell her she made you so
hot you have to jump in the shower real quick to cool off. Better yet, why
not invite her along.
Getting Dressed Or Leaving Immediately After Sex:
- This sends the message
that you got what you wanted and now you are leaving. This is not a good
message to send if you would like a repeat performance in the future.
Spend some time with her and don’t leave immediately afterwards in most
circumstances.
Treatment, Counselling, sex Education & Therapy
Counselling and sex therapy are sometimes effective in helping patients with sexual problems, especially when caused by psychogenic reasons. Sex therapy promotes education and relief of symptoms of sexual dysfunction. Marital and personal counselling is targeted on interpersonal and relationship issues which contribute to resolving a couple’s or an individual’s psychological and emotional dysfunction.