Men’s view - Common Mistakes Women Make In Bed

Common Mistakes Women Make In Bed - Men’s view

Always Covering Up:
Ladies, don’t shut the bathroom door when you are dressing or undressing. Men are visual creatures. Let him see you naked as often as you get the chance. Perform as much of your morning routine as you can while naked. Save getting dressed for the last minute. Let him watch you dress and undress.

According to a survey, fifty percent of men ages 18-44 find watching their ladies undress “very appealing”. Only vaginal intercourse rated higher.

Let him watch you dress. We're not talking about pulling on your holey cotton panties. You can turn the everyday act of getting dressed into a highly charged erotic performance. For starters, change the way you put on your bra. Yes, it's easier to fasten it by putting it on back to front, but the sight of two empty cups hanging from your back isn’t exactly guaranteed to raise an erection. Slip your arms through the straps and reach back to hook it, giving him a full frontal view. Fumbling with the closing? Ask him for help. Next, put on your top, remaining bottomless. Or sometimes do the opposite and put on your bottoms, remaining topless. Take a moment to comb your hair before you put anything else on. It's a sight he won't forget. It’s like a reverse striptease.

Wearing designer Panties:
One lady suggests, “Invest in beautiful lingerie. Always wear it. Get used to it. Men love beautiful lingerie - sexy bras, matching sexy panties. Throw all of your old stuff out. Make this your new rule. Go without buying a new outfit, if you have to. Invest in the sexy inners. They will drive him crazy. You will benefit from this effort, also. You will begin to see yourself as more sexual and sensual.”

Not Keeping Themselves Clean:
While cleanliness is definitely important, some men believe there is no aroma better than that of a woman’s genitals when she is excited. That being said, no one wants to be with a woman that doesn’t take proper care of herself, either. The same can be said for guys and their hygiene habits.

Lack Of Sexual Confidence:
Many men said they wish their women were a bit more confident in the bedroom. Confidence is sexy! A healthy confidence in the bedroom can really be the difference between lukewarm sex and sizzling hot sex. So, seek out your inner self-confidence and unleash the sex goddess in you.

"They Are To Paranoid About Their Bodies To Really Relax And Enjoy Sex":
Ladies, do you always insist on making love under the covers or with the light off? Do you flinch if your man touches your stomach, thighs, breasts, buttocks, or any other body part you are uncomfortable with? Are you worried about what your breasts look like when they fall to the sides when you are on your back? Do you worry about what your butt looks like when your man is penetrating you from behind? Well, stop that! Most men are so happy to be in bed with you, they really aren’t looking for all of your flaws. We all have them. That’s what makes all of us unique and gives us character. Is your man the perfect specimen? Probably not. But you accept him, flaws and all, right? I’ll bet he does the same for you. If he doesn’t, you are with the wrong man. Learning to relax during lovemaking is essential. You will enjoy it so much more. In fact, in a survey, women with a positive body image had orgasms 73% of the time. Self-conscious women only reached orgasm 42% of the time. Sex is not only about what’s happening on the outside, but also very much about what’s happening on the inside. If you are busy worrying about whether your breasts are drooping a little bit or you are trying to suck in your stomach so those extra 3kg you gained won’t show, then you aren’t focusing on what you should be focusing on. It only makes sense that your sex life will suffer. A good lover is a confident lover. Feel like you are sexy, and you will be. Your man already thinks you are sexy. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be making love with you.

Not Realizing how Vulnerable Men Are About Their Sexuality:

• Believe it or not, ladies, no matter how masculine your man is, most guys are really vulnerable when it comes to their sexuality. In many cases, you have the ability to make him or destroy him in the bedroom.
• Build him up by bragging to him about how good he makes you feel. 
• Give him positive reinforcement when he does something good, and be gentle with him when he does something wrong.
• Giving constructive criticism is great, just be sure to be sensitive about it so you don’t destroy his fragile sexual ego. 
• The best thing you can do for a great sex life is to guide your man, teach him right, and make him feel like the best lover the world has ever seen - even if he isn’t there quite yet. 
• Nickname his penis. “Wee Willie Winkie” probably isn’t the best choice. Choose a name that is commanding and powerful. “King Kong” or “Big Banana” would be great choices. Giving his penis a powerful nickname will definitely boost his sexual ego and make him feel terrific about his lovemaking ability. 
• If something goes wrong, it’s best to minimize it. For example, if he has trouble achieving or maintaining an erection, be gentle. The way you handle it can have a dramatic effect on your sex life. Handle it correctly and it’s likely to be no big deal. Handle it incorrectly and it can make a temporary problem worse. It can have a snowball effect in his mind and perpetuate the problem. A terrific way to handle this situation would be to grab his penis, give him a kiss, and tell him something like, “You must be so tired. I must have worn you all out. You know what I’m really in the mood for right now? I’m in the mood for some oral sex. How about coming over here and giving me some of that great oral sex you are so famous for. I love the way you lick me. That always sends me into orbit” This allows him to save face and still be able to pleasure you.

Using Sex [Or Lack Of ]Sex As A Weapon:
Adam & Eve, a distributor of erotica, conducted a telephone survey and found that 22 percent of women admit to withholding sex as punishment after an argument or disagreement with their partner. Sex should not be used as a bargaining chip to achieve what we want. Inside a relationship, it is a physical and emotional sharing and expression of love between one another. It is not a favour to be withheld. Doing so can, and oftentimes does, lead to tremendous conflict, resentment, anger, and retaliatory behaviour, and can easily threaten, destabilize, and even destroy an otherwise healthy relationship. Use sex as a way to make up and feel close again after an argument, not as a means to further punish your partner. It is important to the vitality of the relationship to frequently engage in sex. Doing so will do more to keep you together than can any childish game you could make up to withhold the love and intimacy that needs to be evidenced. If you continue to use sex as a weapon, the intimacy you feel from the special closeness that only lovemaking can bring will disappear - and quite possibly the relationship, too.

They Expect us To Be Mind Readers:
Partners seldom discuss their sexual desires. According to one survey, only 41 percent of women said they have discussed their sex life with their partners or told them what turns them on. “They don’t tell us what works for them to get them to orgasm. They expect us to somehow know this.” All women are different. Just because something worked for his ex-girlfriend, doesn’t mean it will work for you.

Guide your man and teach him what to do to pleasure you. Most men are all too willing to do what you need us to do. Most of us just don’t know what that is. When you learn to include communication as a part of your lovemaking, I believe you will notice huge improvements in your sexual satisfaction. 

Tell him how he did it, ladies. After making love, we like to be told what it was, exactly, that we did to make you climax. For example, “I love the way you kept a slow and steady pace while licking my clitoris. That drove me wild and sent me into orbit!” It’s positive reinforcement for him. Now he knows exactly how you like it and will likely remember it for next time.

They Only Seem To Like Sex In The Beginning:
“Once the newness wears off of the relationship, they lose interest.” Both the guys and the gals share an equal responsibility in this one, I believe. If the sex becomes predictable and boring, many women will naturally begin to lose interest. This can be remedied easily by both of you by just making sure you include a lot of variety in your lovemaking. You don’t have to make major changes and memorize 1001 different positions, but just change something small. Make sure you aren’t doing exactly the same thing every time in exactly the same way. Mixing it up is very important in a monogamous relationship. Imagine being forced to eat every meal for the rest of your life at one particular restaurant. After a while, you would grow tired of the same old food all the time. Now, imagine the same restaurant, but one day they serve Italian food, have subdued lighting, and soft music. You go there the next day and they have the music blaring, they have cleared the tables and chairs away to form a dance floor in the middle of the room, and they are serving finger foods. The next day, they serve Thai food and have changed to an oriental ambiance. Now you could enjoy that same restaurant all the time because of the variety. There is always something new and exciting to experience. Lovemaking can also benefit from such variety. It can be slow and sensual, it can be wild and uninhibited, it can be gentle and loving, it can be hard and fast. You can make love in bed, in the car, outside on a hillside, on the kitchen counter, on the living room floor, or many other places. You can make love naked, with clothes on, or with clothes only partially on. You can have long marathon sessions or you can have a two-minute quickie. The point is you can keep the excitement alive by introducing variety into your lovemaking. It does take effort on your part, but the reward is a fulfilling and sizzling-hot sex life.

Not open Or Willing To Try New Things:
Ladies, be open and willing to try new things. This is what men rate highest as essential in a sex partner, according to a survey.

What do men rate as most essential in sex partner?

• Stamina 9.1%
• Large Breasts 10.3%
• Good Sexual Technique 11.9%
• Good Body 19.2%
• Sense of Humour 20.2%
• Being Clean 24.5%
• Willing to Try Anything 33.3%

Always Has A "Headache":
Ladies, if this is indeed your real reason for not wanting sex, then here is something you should know. Don’t skip sex due to PMS or because of a headache. A study has found that a woman’s orgasm is a powerful painkiller due to the release of endorphins in the body. Sex can actually help your headache or menstrual cramps.

They Leave It All Up To Us:
“Some women think it’s the man’s job to not only initiate sex, but also to do all the work during sex, too.” If you are one of the ladies who do this, you really have to learn to take a more active role in the bedroom. You are at least partially responsible for your own pleasure. You can’t expect your man to do everything while you just lie there.

Give him a strip tease he won’t soon forget.

Take the initiative and invite him to make love, sometimes. Let’s face it - you aren’t going to surprise him if you suggest making love on a Saturday night as the two of you are climbing into bed for the night. But you will surprise him if you can catch him unaware. Try cuddling him from behind while he is washing the car, working in the garden, etc… Invite him to bed, then.
Try riding on top of him, on occasion. You can control the speed, depth, and rhythm of the intercourse better that way, anyway.
Undress him, sometimes.

Instead of just lying on your back waiting for your guy to enter you, spread your legs for him, centrefold-style.

While at dinner, don't ask him to pass the salt. Instead, lean across your guy to grab it---and let your hair brush his hand while your breasts purposefully press his arm. Need his car keys? Money for the gumball machine? Don't ask politely - face him hip-to-hip, reach your hand into his pocket, dig deep while looking him straight in the eye and slowly remove the goods. Never underestimate the titillating power of touch. It's so simple - just by touching him, you stimulate his nerves, create a positive physical connection, and break down a major intimacy barrier. I think that by breaking down these boundaries, you’re showing him that you're up front about your desire to get close. And, indicating your interest in contact might just leave your man panting.

You get the idea. Take the lead now and then.

Not Touching Him Directly:
A lot of men would prefer you to just touch their penis directly rather than touching all around it, first. It seems that many women touch all around the penis before actually touching it because that’s the way most women like to be touched. Men are oftentimes guilty of exactly the opposite. Sometimes we try to touch you directly rather than getting you aroused first by touching all around your genitals, because that’s the way we like to be touched. Of course, everyone likes to be touched differently, so be sure to ask your partner how they like to be touched.

No Or Not Enough Lube:
“My lady sometimes gives me a hand job but doesn't realize that it hurts if she goes really fast right away or doesn't use lube.” Ouch! A hand job without lube can really hurt. The more lube you use, the better, in most situations involving his penis and your hand, I would say. Be sure to ask you man what he prefers.

If you really want to heat up a regular hand job, let him watch as you dip your fingers into your moist vagina and gather your own natural lubrication on your fingers. Now begin stroking his penis with your naturally lubed hand.

Using a lubricant during lovemaking is sometimes necessary, but it doesn’t have to be a nuisance or take away from the act. Here’s a creative way for you to spice up the lubing process. Instead of lubing him up by hand, squirt some lube into your cleavage and let him put his penis in the cleavage to apply the lube.

Being Too Rough With Our Penis Or Testicles:
your man may like you to be rough with their stuff. Most of us, though, find it painful if you pull on our penis really hard, or stroke it with wild abandon. We weren’t all made from the same cookie cutter mold. Just because your man liked to have his testicles yanked or sucked, some man doesn’t like such a rough approach and may feel too macho to it hurt. Be sure to ask him if he likes the way you are touching him. This will open the door for a discussion on the issue.

Quit Stroking Before He's Done:
Ladies, ejaculation and orgasm for your man are not one in the same. They may or may not occur at exactly the same time. They can sometimes overlap a little or a lot. I bring this to your attention because if you man’s orgasm and ejaculation are not completely in sync, you may stop stimulating him once his ejaculation stops, when in fact his orgasm may still be going strong. It’s best to ask him how his orgasm and ejaculation match up.

One Word- Teeth!
“Using teeth during oral sex is a definite no-no. It hurts and can completely ruin the moment.” We know you don’t do this on purpose, ladies, but it can really be painful. Sometimes you just get so caught up in the moment or your mouth gets tired and you lose your technique. Please be careful with your teeth.

Acting Like Semen Is Toxic:
“When I’m ready to orgasm from a hand-job or oral sex and she situates herself so she doesn’t get any cum on her, it can ruin the moment. Once, she even stopped stroking me when I started Cumming so it wouldn’t touch her.” Semen isn’t toxic, ladies. While you may choose not to ingest it, you don’t have to avoid it completely, either. It won’t hurt you. Avoiding his semen could make him feel the same way you might feel if he runs to the shower immediately after sex. He may feel like you are rejecting him or feel that you think he is dirty.

Using Me As Her Scratching Post:
“I love my lady’s long fingernails, but sometimes in the middle of sex, she will dig them into me and it really hurts.” We know you don’t do this on purpose, ladies. Some of us even wear our fingernail scars like a badge of honour, but others of us would really like you to be a little more careful. Your best bet is to ask your man what he thinks about the subject.

Staying Silent:
Don’t remain silent during your lovemaking. You may worry that you sound funny when you are moaning, groaning, and panting, but staying silent is a real downer. Guys really want to please you and we need feedback from you to reinforce that what we are doing is working for you. So, relax, really get into it, and send all the right signals to your man by letting the sexy sounds flow.

Faking Orgasms:
Ladies, one of the worst things you can do for your lovemaking is fake your orgasms with your man. If he isn’t doing the things you need him to do to bring you to orgasm, then let him know so he can correct himself and learn to bring you great pleasure. The problem won’t go away on it’s own by ignoring it. It is your responsibility to teach him what you need him to do to bring you to orgasm. Faking it only reinforces in his mind that what he is doing is working for you, when in fact it isn’t. Teach him the right way to push your buttons.

When asked, “How often do you fake orgasm?” in an online poll, 1500 women answered as follows:

• I never fake it: 45%
• 1%-25% of the time: 34%
• 26%-50% of the time: 10%
• 51%-75% of the time: 7%
• 76%-100% of the time: 4%

Mentioning Another Man:
When you are in bed with your man, never use the words, “My friend husband used to…” or, “A guy in porno …” or anything similar. It may seem like a harmless little detail you are sharing with him, but most guys would take it very personally. Most of us know that you probably have a past. We just don’t want to think much about it, especially in the bedroom.

Questioning Your Man's Sexuality If He Expresses Interest In any Kind Of Anal Play:
While none of the men actually complained about this on my surveys or in my discussions about mistakes, I am really surprised by the number of times I have seen it mentioned by ladies on various sexual discussion forums, so I thought I would mention it here. It seems that if a man asks his lady to touch his anus in any way, a lot of ladies begin to question his sexuality. “Is he gay?” Just because a man enjoys anal stimulation doesn’t necessarily mean that he is gay. Many people, both men and women, enjoy anal play, as the anus is packed with nerve endings. It’s not uncommon at all for men to enjoy external or even internal anal stimulation. Your man’s sexuality and whether or not he enjoys anal stimulation are completely unrelated an independent of each other.

Some Women Don't Know What It Takes To Bring Themselves To Orgasm:
This is especially for ladies new to lovemaking or those that have never experienced an orgasm before. many young ladies and also from more mature ladies where they are so frustrated because they don’t orgasm through intercourse, manual sex, or oral sex. Some have never had an orgasm before. When asked, most of these women admitted to never masturbating, either. You have to learn what makes you tick, what makes you feel good, and what leads you to an orgasm. How can any man know what to do to you to help you climax if you don’t know yourself? If you lie there like a bump on a log and expect him to know what to do to make you orgasm, you are going about it the wrong way, I’m afraid. All women are different and respond differently to stimulation. What works for one woman doesn’t necessarily work for the next woman It’s your responsibility to know what brings you to orgasm and then to communicate this to your man so he can bring you great pleasure. Here’s how to get to know yourself a lot better through self-exploration:

Few people, male or female, have ever really investigated a woman’s genitals up close and personal. We’ve been conditioned to have sex in the dark under the sheets. Sit down with a hand mirror and examine your genitals. The better you know your own body, the better you can instruct your man on how to please you. I was surprised to learn about the number of men who cannot identify a clitoris. I was completely shocked when I learned that some women cannot identify their own clitoris, either! Spend some time with the mirror. Locate all of your important parts. Look at them. Touch them and become familiar with them. This may be a more important tip than it seems at first.

Set aside some time for yourself when you will be uninterrupted. Run a bath. Get relaxed. Take some time to run your fingers all over your body and make note of what feels good. Pay attention to your responses. Listen to your body. Any kind of touching is acceptable - light touches, heavy touches, scratching with your nails, pinching, stroking with the back of your hand, and any other way of touching yourself that you can imagine. The only rule is that the touch be pleasurable. You can go as light or as heavy as you wish to test the limits of your pleasure. You might prefer a light stroke on your nipples at first and find that as you get more turned on, you prefer heavier strokes there. Make note of all of your observations. There is no set amount of time that you must spend doing this. Do it for as long as it feels pleasurable. You may want to have many sessions of doing this. The better you get to know your own body, the better you will be able to instruct your man on how to please you.

Crying After Sex Without Explaining:
Sex can illicit many different responses from many different people. Some people get hungry after sex, some fall right to sleep, some erupt in laughter, and still others cry. It’s very simple - to a guy, tears equal bad, so it’s ok to cry during sex or afterwards, just be sure to explain to your man that it’s a good thing and not a bad thing. Crying without an explanation could send his head spinning wondering what he did wrong.

Treatment, Counselling, sex Education & Therapy
Counselling and sex therapy are sometimes effective in helping patients with sexual problems, especially when caused by psychogenic reasons. Sex therapy promotes education and relief of symptoms of sexual dysfunction. Marital and personal counselling is targeted on interpersonal and relationship issues which contribute to resolving a couple’s or an individual’s psychological and emotional dysfunction.

Whom to contact for Counselling and sex therapy & Treatment

Dr.Senthil Kumar Treats many cases of Sexual Problems, In his medical professional experience with successful results. Many patients get relief after taking treatment from Dr.Senthil Kumar.  Dr.Senthil Kumar visits Chennai at Vivekanantha Homeopathy Clinic, Velachery, Chennai 42. To get appointment please call 9786901830, +91 94430 54168 or mail to consult.ur.dr@gmail.com,

For more details & Consultation Feel free to contact us.

Vivekanantha Clinic Consultation Champers at

Chennai:- 9786901830

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For appointment please Call us or Mail Us

For appointment: SMS your Name -Age – Mobile Number - Problem in Single word - date and day - Place of appointment (Eg: Rajini – 30 - 99xxxxxxx0 – Sexual Problems – 21st Oct, Sunday - Chennai ), You will receive Appointment details through SMS

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