Know About Sex Education
1. Today, we have more sexual
information available than ever before in history. Sexuality has been studied,
documented, and analyzed. We know about the G-Spot, multiple orgasms, female
ejaculation, and dozens of sexual techniques and positions. Sex therapy and
medical science can cure erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and
inorgasmia. We are bombarded by sex in our culture. We understand sexuality and
know the mechanics of how it all works, yet on a personal level, studies show
that overall sexual satisfaction is still on a steady decline. As a whole,
people are more sexually empty, more sexually frustrated, and more sexually
lost than ever before. I believe this is due mainly to a lack of the proper kind
of sex education and our discomfort with the notion of discussing sex. Even
though we have the information available to us, not many people talk about sex
or seek out ways to make it better. Sex still seems to be a dirty little secret
for many (if not most?) of us, yet nearly all of us have sex.
2. Having great sex is the only
activity which requires a lot of knowledge and physical finesse but is nearly
always performed in private. Beyond the very basics of what goes where, we
aren't given lessons on how to have great sex. We are just supposed to get it
on and make it good, without any previous knowledge, experience, or training.
You'd never see a person who has never driven before being told to jump into an
Indy car and go win the race.
3. Without accurate information, we
remain in information limbo, where we are not sure where to turn to get our
questions answered. Unfortunately, most of us build our sexual knowledge on the
foundation of myths, mixed messages, and misinformation. As a result, most of us
are not living up to our full sexual potential.
4. The sex education you get from school is more like the
dangers-of-sex education, discussing pregnancy and STDs. We don't learn how to
have great sex.
5. Experience is a great teacher.
Unfortunately, in this day and age, when it comes to sex, experience can also
have deadly ramifications. You can't just freely have as much sex as possible
to gain sexual experience, today. No matter what your moral views of doing so
are, there are deadly diseases that keep nearly every one of us from doing so.
6. As a result of the lack of good
sexual education, it takes years for us to learn what our partners really want
in bed, if we ever figure it out at all. We are also left less than fulfilled,
because we don't know how to assertively and effectively communicate our sexual
wants, needs, desires, fantasies, and expectations in the bedroom. No one has
ever taught us how to do this.
7. In a perfect world, sex education
should begin at home. Parents should start very early in a child's life
teaching them all about sex. Ideally, they should cover such areas as how their
bodies develop, to how reproduction works, to masturbation, to respect and self
esteem, to the emotions involved in forming, maintaining, and ending relationships,
to promoting their own values and methods for managing all of the sexual
aspects of life. Parents are not going to be the only source sex education for
their kids, so they have to be the best, most clear source. But, even sexually
open parents rarely discuss the finer points of sensual lovemaking.
8. Many people (especially men) hate to
admit we don't know something, especially when it comes to sex. Well, don't be
too hard on yourself. How are we supposed to know this stuff? Where do we
really learn about sex? Who teaches us? Nobody does! Nobody teaches us the real
facts about how to have great sex and how to pleasure each other when we are
younger because we aren't supposed to have sex or talk about it. Yet one day,
we are supposed to just somehow magically know.
9. And forget about asking someone for
help - once we reach a certain age, our inquisitiveness becomes a liability.
It's no longer "cool" to ask questions. Doing so will prove to your
friends that you are not very experienced, out of the loop, a virgin, or an
idiot, so most of us pretend we know it all. We fake it. Well, now is the time
to stop faking it and realize that if you want to learn to be a great lover to
your partner, you have to learn about sex. Sex is a skill and now is the time
to start learning it.
10. Sex is like playing a piano. Anyone
can sit down, hammer on the keys, and make some noise. But to learn to make
truly beautiful music, it takes knowledge, time, practice, dedication, and
patience. We have to educate ourselves. The average adult has the sexual
know-how of a 17-year-old. That's when most of us stop learning about sex.
Unless you actively seek to expand and improve your knowledge about sex, you
will continue to have the sexual proficiency of a 17-year-old. Buy some good sex
books, buy some instructional videos, join some online sexual discussion
forums, and begin to educate yourself. You are bound to have a better and more
satisfying sex life than those who choose not to do these things.
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