Learn to have Lasting Longer Sex
1. First some bad ideas for trying to
last longer:
a. Don't try to distract yourself during sex to make it last longer. That's no fun and it's mostly ineffective. Are you really having a great time if you are busy doing math problems in your head? Instead of tuning out, tune into your body and your feelings. Familiarize yourself with your sexual response. Learn to recognize how your body feels as it approaches the point of no return. Once you are tuned into this feeling, then you can make small adjustments to allow yourself to stay highly aroused without reaching the point of ejaculation.
b. Squeeze Technique: Similar to the Stop/Start Technique, but the penis is squeezed just below the head, between your thumb and forefinger just before the point of no return, instead of just stopping. Many therapists aren't using this technique anymore, as it interrupts the flow of sex if you have to remove the penis and then squeeze and hold it. With the Stop/Start method, you stop the movements, but you are still inside her and can still kiss, touch, etc... It doesn't interrupt the flow of sex to the degree that the squeeze method does.
c. Using 2 condoms: There are a few reasons this is a bad idea. First, if you are relying on desensitizing yourself to last longer, then aren't you sacrificing pleasure? The second reason this may be a bad idea is that using 2 condoms at the same time can cause friction as they rub together, making it likely that they will break. So, if birth control or disease control is a concern to you, then definitely don't do this one.
d. Anesthetic products: There are cream products on the market that have a numbing effect on your penis and claim they will help you last longer. There are several reasons this may be a bad idea. Again, if you are numbing yourself, then aren't you sacrificing pleasure? And not just sacrificing your own pleasure, either, as the cream rubs off on your lady's vagina, too, rendering it numb and insensitive. It also makes oral sex taste horrible. There's also the possibility of allergic reaction. Who wants to have an allergic reaction on your most private areas? The application of these products must also be timed properly so they are not put on too early and start to lose their effectiveness. This can create stress that helps to increase anxiety that may actually contribute to the very problem that the product is trying to fix. These products are also very expensive.
2. Relax during sex. This will help you last longer. Many men tend to tense our muscles during sex. We clench our butt muscles, tense our abs, contort our face, flex our thigh muscles, etc... Muscles contract easier when nearby muscles are contracted, therefore by tensing up and contracting so many of our muscles during sex, we may also be making it easier for the muscles that control ejaculation to contract.
3. Vocalization may help you last longer, also, as it helps to rid your body of tension. So, don't be afraid to moan and groan.
4. Stop/Start Technique: Focus on your level of arousal. When you are just short of your point of no return, stop moving and breathe deeply until the urge to ejaculate passes. Then start moving again. When you are stopped, you only need to stop pelvic movement so you don't come. Don't stop all movements. This would be a great time to kiss, touch, etc... Sex expert, educator, and author, Sari Locker suggests an easy way to do this. She calls it, '5,6,7,8, Now's the Time to Stop & Wait' Here's how it works. Imagine a scale from 1-10, where 1 is un-stimulated and 10 is orgasm. Begin intercourse as usual. Gauge your level of arousal on our imaginary scale. When you get to a level of 8, "Now's the Time to Stop & Wait". Pause for a few seconds to bring your arousal level down a few notches. Then continue until you reach level 8 again. Do this as many times as you would like before you eventually let yourself reach levels 9 and 10. And again, remember that when you are at the "now's the time to stop and wait" part, you should still be touching, kissing, and stimulating your partner so the flow of sex is not interrupted.
5. Slow insertion: If you insert your penis quickly into the vagina, it can receive over-stimulation, causing you to ejaculation sooner than you would prefer.
6. Rocking Rhythm: Instead of pumping in and out of the vagina, where your penis receives a lot of stimulation, try inserting your penis deeply and then using a side to side or circular rocking motion to establish a rhythm. Many women may prefer this, anyway, as you may be able to stimulate her clitoris better this way.
7. Try the Altered Depth or Altered Speed Technique.
a. Don't try to distract yourself during sex to make it last longer. That's no fun and it's mostly ineffective. Are you really having a great time if you are busy doing math problems in your head? Instead of tuning out, tune into your body and your feelings. Familiarize yourself with your sexual response. Learn to recognize how your body feels as it approaches the point of no return. Once you are tuned into this feeling, then you can make small adjustments to allow yourself to stay highly aroused without reaching the point of ejaculation.
b. Squeeze Technique: Similar to the Stop/Start Technique, but the penis is squeezed just below the head, between your thumb and forefinger just before the point of no return, instead of just stopping. Many therapists aren't using this technique anymore, as it interrupts the flow of sex if you have to remove the penis and then squeeze and hold it. With the Stop/Start method, you stop the movements, but you are still inside her and can still kiss, touch, etc... It doesn't interrupt the flow of sex to the degree that the squeeze method does.
c. Using 2 condoms: There are a few reasons this is a bad idea. First, if you are relying on desensitizing yourself to last longer, then aren't you sacrificing pleasure? The second reason this may be a bad idea is that using 2 condoms at the same time can cause friction as they rub together, making it likely that they will break. So, if birth control or disease control is a concern to you, then definitely don't do this one.
d. Anesthetic products: There are cream products on the market that have a numbing effect on your penis and claim they will help you last longer. There are several reasons this may be a bad idea. Again, if you are numbing yourself, then aren't you sacrificing pleasure? And not just sacrificing your own pleasure, either, as the cream rubs off on your lady's vagina, too, rendering it numb and insensitive. It also makes oral sex taste horrible. There's also the possibility of allergic reaction. Who wants to have an allergic reaction on your most private areas? The application of these products must also be timed properly so they are not put on too early and start to lose their effectiveness. This can create stress that helps to increase anxiety that may actually contribute to the very problem that the product is trying to fix. These products are also very expensive.
2. Relax during sex. This will help you last longer. Many men tend to tense our muscles during sex. We clench our butt muscles, tense our abs, contort our face, flex our thigh muscles, etc... Muscles contract easier when nearby muscles are contracted, therefore by tensing up and contracting so many of our muscles during sex, we may also be making it easier for the muscles that control ejaculation to contract.
3. Vocalization may help you last longer, also, as it helps to rid your body of tension. So, don't be afraid to moan and groan.
4. Stop/Start Technique: Focus on your level of arousal. When you are just short of your point of no return, stop moving and breathe deeply until the urge to ejaculate passes. Then start moving again. When you are stopped, you only need to stop pelvic movement so you don't come. Don't stop all movements. This would be a great time to kiss, touch, etc... Sex expert, educator, and author, Sari Locker suggests an easy way to do this. She calls it, '5,6,7,8, Now's the Time to Stop & Wait' Here's how it works. Imagine a scale from 1-10, where 1 is un-stimulated and 10 is orgasm. Begin intercourse as usual. Gauge your level of arousal on our imaginary scale. When you get to a level of 8, "Now's the Time to Stop & Wait". Pause for a few seconds to bring your arousal level down a few notches. Then continue until you reach level 8 again. Do this as many times as you would like before you eventually let yourself reach levels 9 and 10. And again, remember that when you are at the "now's the time to stop and wait" part, you should still be touching, kissing, and stimulating your partner so the flow of sex is not interrupted.
5. Slow insertion: If you insert your penis quickly into the vagina, it can receive over-stimulation, causing you to ejaculation sooner than you would prefer.
6. Rocking Rhythm: Instead of pumping in and out of the vagina, where your penis receives a lot of stimulation, try inserting your penis deeply and then using a side to side or circular rocking motion to establish a rhythm. Many women may prefer this, anyway, as you may be able to stimulate her clitoris better this way.
7. Try the Altered Depth or Altered Speed Technique.
Altered Depth Technique: This technique alters the "normal" single depth
intercourse stroke. Instead, try the following:
1 stroke deep and 9 strokes
shallow.
Then, 2 strokes deep and 8 strokes shallow.
Then, 3 strokes deep and 7
strokes shallow.
Then, 4 strokes deep and 6 strokes shallow.
Then, 5 strokes
deep and 5 strokes shallow.
Then, 6 strokes deep and 4 strokes shallow.
Then, 7
strokes deep and 3 strokes shallow.
Then, 8 strokes deep and 2 strokes shallow.
Then, 9 strokes deep and 1 stroke shallow.
This technique has a few benefits.
It alters the depth of the stroke and provides your lady with stimulation
variation. Another benefit is that it may make you last longer. The reason for
this is you are making yourself take mostly short, shallow strokes in the
beginning. The deeper strokes don't come until later. If you still have a
tendency to cum too early with this technique, then repeat each phase twice
before moving on to the next phase.
Altered Speed Technique: This technique alters the single speed intercourse stroke. Instead, try the following: 1 stroke fast and 9 strokes slow. Then, 2 strokes fast and 8 strokes slow. Then, 3 strokes fast and 7 strokes slow. Then, 4 strokes fast and 6 strokes slow. Then, 5 strokes fast and 5 strokes slow. Then, 6 strokes fast and 4 strokes slow. Then, 7 strokes fast and 3 strokes slow. Then, 8 strokes fast and 2 strokes slow. Then, 9 strokes fast and 1 stroke slow. This technique has a few benefits. It alters the speed of the stroke and provides your lady with stimulation variation. Another benefit is that it may make you last longer. The reason for this is you are making yourself take mostly slow strokes in the beginning. The faster strokes don't come until later. If you still have a tendency to cum too early with this technique, then repeat each phase twice before moving on to the next phase.
8. Wearing a condom can help you last longer.
9. Masturbation: Another tip for boosting your staying power is to masturbate once or more before you meet up with your lady for intercourse. Subsequent orgasms will usually take longer to occur than the first one, so get it out of the way before intercourse and you may last longer than a pack of jolly ranchers.
10. Valsalva maneuver: Try using the Valsalva maneuver to prolong intercourse. The second you feel like you're going to orgasm, bear down as if you were trying to have a bowel movement. This relaxes the muscles that contract during ejaculation and may buy you a few more minutes, according to Dudley S. Danoff, M.D., a urologic surgeon at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. There are also Kegel exercises for strengthening the PC muscles, which will help with ejaculation control.
Altered Speed Technique: This technique alters the single speed intercourse stroke. Instead, try the following: 1 stroke fast and 9 strokes slow. Then, 2 strokes fast and 8 strokes slow. Then, 3 strokes fast and 7 strokes slow. Then, 4 strokes fast and 6 strokes slow. Then, 5 strokes fast and 5 strokes slow. Then, 6 strokes fast and 4 strokes slow. Then, 7 strokes fast and 3 strokes slow. Then, 8 strokes fast and 2 strokes slow. Then, 9 strokes fast and 1 stroke slow. This technique has a few benefits. It alters the speed of the stroke and provides your lady with stimulation variation. Another benefit is that it may make you last longer. The reason for this is you are making yourself take mostly slow strokes in the beginning. The faster strokes don't come until later. If you still have a tendency to cum too early with this technique, then repeat each phase twice before moving on to the next phase.
8. Wearing a condom can help you last longer.
9. Masturbation: Another tip for boosting your staying power is to masturbate once or more before you meet up with your lady for intercourse. Subsequent orgasms will usually take longer to occur than the first one, so get it out of the way before intercourse and you may last longer than a pack of jolly ranchers.
10. Valsalva maneuver: Try using the Valsalva maneuver to prolong intercourse. The second you feel like you're going to orgasm, bear down as if you were trying to have a bowel movement. This relaxes the muscles that contract during ejaculation and may buy you a few more minutes, according to Dudley S. Danoff, M.D., a urologic surgeon at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. There are also Kegel exercises for strengthening the PC muscles, which will help with ejaculation control.
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